I fell in love with a girl tonight. Her name is Aleysha. She is 2 months old and just the cutest thing that i have ever laid my eyes on. From the first moment that i felt you in my arms I knew you felt safe when I could feel you pull me closer as I took you further and further away from your mommy. We walked around for so long without wanting to be seperated from each other for as long as we could . I miss you already an its only been a couple hours. I know you love and trust me at first sight like no one else has. I can’t wait till Kaitlyn is brought into this wonderful world.

Now the ugly part of this beautiful story. Of course there had to be one. The baby girls mom is a girl named Blythe. She is a cool chick who i totally want to date and have since way before she even had a daughter. We hung out tonight and hand a great time now some details. First off she has a boyfriend who i know she cheats on and is only with him because he was there for her in a time of need and because she lives with his sister. Second she says that she does not trust me to change my lifestyle of partying and whoring in order to be faithful to her and be there for her and her daughter. I am totally willing to give up the whoring, as long as she does the same, and most of the partying to be with them. I dont know what to think about the situation. Figure it out tomorrow.

As i sit here at work staring at my computer screen I look right through it and keep looking back to you being beautiful getting your self ready to have a great time on the town with me. I look at my phone to texts this morning that describe to me about your breakfast in bed and i have this feeling in my gut that even though you and me are getting closer and closer that you and me are falling farther apart with every new day that we enter into.

I get to see you tonight or so you say to go out just you and me once again but I know hes laying next to you and you will put me on the back burner without a second thought if he hints at the fact that he wants you to.  I’m worried that you and me will diminish into thin air once you and him figure out what is going on between you two no matter how much you tell me it wont change. I hope to see you soon. My thoughts are not in this hell I sit in everyday but with you laying in bed with another man right now.

- “You Made Me Find My Heart In An Otherwise Cold Body.”

I Sit here thinking about you. My feelings and emotions are a wreck right now. I get to see you tonight but for how long. You will be gone in a time measurable by hours for months and months and my heart sinks. I’m such in lust (as you call it) right now with you it is ridiculous. You are the first girl in quite a while i would even consider a little bit to spend considerable time in my hectic life with. You keep saying that your more trouble than your worth and I would be more than happy to enjoy the so called trouble to be with you. I have heard that to kiss you would be like kissing the world and yet i long to feel your luscious lips pressed up against mine.

You have been so honest about everyone to me that you have been with in the short time that we have known each other and with every conversation about my friend or yours I feel more and more jealousy that its not me were talking about and I’m hurt a little more each time to what will probably end in a breakdown. I have become so attached to you in these few short weeks and i keep feeling pain when I’m around you but dont want to express it for the feeling I may lose you forever. I have such a good time when it’s just us but then you go out and do stupid thing after stupid thing and it hurts not just you but me as well. I have never questioned why I like you and why I want to be with you but I have this feeling I need to start as much as I don’t want to.

This weekend without you was really hard with you all the way across the country. I actually missed you alot even though we talked into the wee hours of the morning and texted the whole time. I don’t even want to think how hard it’s gonna be when you are actually gone for more than just a couple days.

So heres the situation in my love life right now. I have a girl who i would never classify as more than friends with benefits. (Maybe someday i will post all the stuff i have written about her) She gives me what i need in the bedroom and not many other places. I am not physically attracted to her and mentally I sometimes have to fake it just to get along with her outside of her bedroom and sometime even within her bedroom. She wont even give me oral which really bothers me even though she expects me to give her multiple O faces while shes riding my bone roller coaster but she wont give me what i want. So for right now i have told her that one day soon when im ready to settle down and when im not really busy with work and life that i will be with her. Im not sure how i feel about that.

Then there is another girl that i have met who i like alot which is different for me cause i dont fall this hard for many women. The big problem is she is slightly underage so i have to wait a little while to be able to do anything super fun with her, which sucks. She told me a couple nights ago she told me that i make her happy, feel safe, and she really likes me alot alot alot. That makes me feel really  good on the inside cause i feel the same about her. I am so in like with her. She is sexy and beautiful and smart and funny and makes me feel warm on the inside.

Now i dont know what to do in this situation. I really like one, alot and the other one is giving me what i need in the bedroom which i went without for way too long. I could see myself settling down with the second girl for a while. I dont know what to do.

I would like to congratulate 2 of my best friends on tying the knot on July 12th, 2008. The wedding was amazing i know that I had alot of fun and it is definitely an event that i will never forget.

Here is my best man speech….

Hi everyone my name is Joshua and I am Stevens best man. I just wanna start out by saying i would like to thank American Express for sponsoring this event and thanking the bride and groom for inviting everyone to this great party we are having. I would like to thank all of you for coming as well. So I remember many moons ago steven here talking everyday about this girl down the hall from his office named Mel. All i heard out of his mouth for months is she is so cool, she is so pretty and he would tell me all these stories about her. He really really liked her. Being the sweet guy he was he bought her some cold stone one day and that was it. So a couple days later Melissa came over to the apartment. They weren’t even dating at this point. Steven was enjoying the festivities, maybe a little too much and you know later in the night there was only a select group of us left and I remember steven sitting on the floor in front of his computer and singing a song called ” The first day of my life” to Melissa. In the song he talks about being blind until he met her and it says I don’t know where I am I don’t know where I’ve been But I know where I want to go and I think he knew what he was talking about  that night cause I stand before you on there wedding day. Good choice man. I hope i have what you have some day. You know a bunch of little water bottles and fans with your names on it. Just remember you two that a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. If i can get everyone to raise there glasses. I would like to be the first to get a large group together to officially congratulate The Mr. And Mrs. on there Marriage and eternal happiness together.