For the past few months me and someone I find special have been instant messaging each other. We started talking on myspace and then IM-ing each other for multiple hours each day. After following that routine for about a month and a half. We decided to meet. One fateful Saturday night not to long ago we met at a local hangout. We had such a good time we stayed together just talking for about 4 hours. If she didn’t work the next day I think we would have stayed for much longer. So we parted ways. The next day not knowing what to do about it we IM each other after she gets off of work. She signs off and I expect not to hear from her for the rest of the evening and much to my surprise I get a call around midnight from her very enthusiastic. We talked about not a whole lot for over two hours. I was excited to say the least. So Monday we had made plans to go see Elizabethtown. I had talked to her early in the day before work and we worked everything out. I showed up to her place and we hung out on her couch and talked for a few hours and then went to the movie. Well Elizabeth town was no longer playing at the theater we went to and we after much deliberation decided to see a movie called “Dreamer”. The movie was not the best but she enjoyed it and I really enjoyed just being with her. After the movie she had homework so I took her home and dropped her off. So far so good. Then I get home and we as usual IM each other as she is writing her paper. She brings up the fact that I had been getting too close and that it cant get serious at all. This for me was not so much a shock believe me I get this all the time. I thought she was different. So I send some excerpts to my best bud and he sends me this.

“Your generosity and your caring will continue to go unnoticed for
years to come. You will meet those who cannot accept gifts, because
they are unable to give them. What those people fail to recognize is
that their company is their gift to you, which is all you expect and
it’s what you respect.

Unfortunately for her, she has staged herself in a position to let a
potential friend fade simply because she was given a gift. In my mind,
she is unable to see what true friendship is and unable to fully
believe her words that she wishes to surround herself by friends. If
this were the case, she would have fought harder to keep you, however
her words are contradicted by her actions.

This is a disappointment, however it’s not your fault. Feel guilty if
you’d like, but comprehending this letter points to her instability as
a friend and as a possible girlfriend. However, if you feel it
necessary to show her the meaning of true friendship, fight for her
and show her that it doesn’t matter what gifts she receives, it was
from the heart and from a true friend — this is what she strives for
and this is who she fails to be. Teach her if you deem her worthy.

All the more, you should keep your head up about this. I believe this
is a challenge not left to anyone else except you. You can either
accept the fight with this girl with deeper issues you have yet to
discover, or you can let this one go. But, ask, does she mean
something to you? Can you show her that you put friendship first? If
not, let this one go.

Personally, I think it’s worth the fight. Show her that she would not
get bored or annoyed. You have personality that she cannot deny. The
list of cop-outs she described above are nothing more than a
frightened girl, not of a strong woman. I would take the opportunity
to make her the ladder.

Keep it real and remember your happiness comes first. How far are you willing to go for your happiness?” – Allometry

Before this me and him were having dinner and he saw how happy I was. I believe the term he used was “floating”. So after he writes me this I take it to heart. I have been depressed until a few days before when me and her had hung out for the first time. The lines “Personally, I think it’s worth the fight” and “How far are you willing to go for your happiness?” made me come to the conclusion that she is what makes me happy and to put the friendship first and eventually see where it leads.

So for the next couple of days I talked to her but had plans with other friends. On Tuesday I went to a friends house for our Tuesday ritual of watching Gilmore girls (I realize it’s a chick show) and house. When I was on my way home from work she called me and we talked till I got home when I needed to take a shower. I got done getting ready and when I got in my car I called her back as requested. We talked well into when I got to my buddies house and about ½ way into the first hour of TV. I was trying to keep up with her and the show at the same time and she sensed this and told me to call her back later. After the shows were over I text her and she was already in bed so I went home and did the same. On Wednesday again on my way home she called me and we just chatted about our days and she brought up her ex boyfriend had called her and wanted to hang out. We talked about that and several other things. We hung up with each other later in the night and both went to bed.

On Thursday she called again somewhere on my expedition home and we just talked about normal stuff you know our days, her ex boyfriend, sex in general which is normal, our friends, normal stuff. I went and stood in line at the bank and did a few other errands. We were contemplating going out to get something to eat which didn’t happen. She wanted PB & J so she ate at home. When I got home even though very dirty from work I stayed on the phone with her for about another ½ half hour or so when I told her I needed to get in the shower. I got out and ate something from around the house. I had to drop off my uncles ipod to him so when I got in the car about 45 minutes after getting off the phone the first time I called her back. We talked for about 10 minutes then she hung up and called me back almost instantly. She invited me to come and watch the Wedding Date with her. I went over and one of her exes was there because she’s trying to get him off drugs so I understand why he was there. After the movie me and the ex both left so she could go to bed. Me and her talked through the night till about 1:30 when she decided she actually needed to go to bed. She had work and a lot of errands to do on Friday.

So Friday my day off rolls around and she calls me at like 7 in the morning. I answer and we talk for a few and I tell her I had only had about 2 hours of sleep and I would call her later. When I get up about 11 or so I call her and we talk till about 5 in the afternoon with an hour break when she had lunch with her best friend. I went to dinner with my friends and after I text her and ask her if she wants to watch a movie. She loves the idea and I end up at her house after getting some friends to leave my house. We ended up watching a couple hours of a csi based show and she kicked me out cause she was tired understood.

So Saturday comes and I text her about noon to see what she’s up to. We share a few texts and we are both busy during the day. So after the last thing I had to do in the day she calls and she tells me to come over to fix her computer. I have been demoted to her geek bitch. That was a little unsettling. So I finish up with what I was doing and went and got some coffee for me and casually wandered to her house. She opened the door in a very small shirt and was very friendly. I thought maybe she had realized that we want each other. So we hang out and I look at her computer which there’s nothing wring with it. Ok so we wash her dog. So we start cleaning her place and I start tickling her when she pulls the “Your in my bubble”. I was pissed so I went and read the Allometry saying to calm me down then scoured ebay for nothing. I got bored and played with her dog on the floor when I hear a knock at the door and the ex from the other day was at the door so I let him in. She told me that I needed to leave early so she could have some 1 on 1 time with him. She was horny and wanted some we had talked about this earlier in the day. So now I feel like shit and so stupid cause im willing to take care of her and she springs for the asshole druggie to love and affection from. I had even gotten my hopes up when a close friend of mine said that we are in a sex-less relationship.

Can I ever catch a break. WTF. On the other hand maybe ill still see what happens in the long run.

Edit

Not but 24 hours after i post this me and this woman have a serious talk resulting in me totally giving up on us ever having due to that being what she wants. We have agreed to still be friends. woo-hoo.